Coffee Talks: Kami Ikhlas, Chand.

Halo Chandra,

Hows your new place? Must be better right?
You don’t need to thinking anything anymore; job, relationship, dorm fee, planning, etc.
Its been a week since you gone, been days we accepted an unexpected incident of you sincerely.
You know, it’s hard. It’s really hard.
But we want you to go with peace while bring good memories to be told to angels at your new place.

This is me, Dekcin.
The one who know you as a very good friend of my boyfriend at dorm.
The one who know you as a person who fulled with sense of humor in life.
The one who hear you laugh a lot while watched movie at your room one day before the incident happened.

Ya Chand,

Inget kan Dekcin datang di hari Sabtu siang 20 Feb 2016 dan sempet menyapa kamu waktu datang, tapi kamu ga jawab sapaan aku malah ketawa ketawa karena lagi nonton film. But it was okay, I didn’t mind.

Inget kan setengah harian itu Dekcin ada di kamar Yogi nemenin Yogi gambar sambil nonton TV dan Dekcin masih denger kamu ketawa terus dan menduga kalau kamu lagi nonton beberapa film? Regretly, I didn’t try to make any conversation with you like “what was movie you watching” or “have you grab your lunch?”.

Inget kan sehabis Yogi dan Dekcin beli makan siang dan berencana makan di kamar Yogi, Yogi menyapa kamu “Chan, makan” dan kamu jawab “yaaa!”? Pada saat itu, perasaan ini gundah. Entah kenapa seperti ada dorongan dari dalam hati untuk mengajak kamu makan juga tapi kata-kata itu tertahan di mulut dan otak yang bodoh ini berpikir “next time juga bisa ajak dia makan”

Sorry, I am starting to crying.
I don’t know, shud I finish this writing? Shud I, Chand???


Okay Chand, after 4 days since I wrote this draft, I decide to continue this writing.
So here I am.

There’s one more thing I wanna told you about that Saturday, one day before you gone.
Finally we met, face to face, in the night when I was waiting Yogi to bring me home. You went out the bathroom and said “Dekcin mau pulang? Dadaah Dekcin, sampai ketemu lagiii.”
And I just answered “iyaa Kaka Chandraa, dadaaaahh”
Perasaan ini kembali gundah. Ingin rasanya bertanya ke Yogi kalau kamu akan kemana, dinas, kah? Mutasi, kah? Atau pindah kosan, kah? Tapi kemudian, kembali pertanyaan tersebut tertahan di mulut. And I regret.

No, it’s not his habit to say “sampai ketemu lagiii” when I permit to back home to him.
It shud be “Hati-hati yaa” or “Dadaaaahh” instead of “sampai ketemu lagi”.

And that feeling didn’t stop on that day.
On Sunday morning, 22 Februari 2016, after went to church, I felt like I wanna go to Yogi’s dorm so much. Aku pikir keinginan itu cuma perasaan cengeng-cengengan aku aja karena mau ditinggal Yogi 2 minggu dinas dan 1 minggu mudik. After talk with Yogi by phone, I ignore my willingness and that feeling. I decided to stay at home.

02.52 pm, Yogi sent me bbm that you got accident, without tell me your condition. I prepared myself asap then go to the hospital. I thought you will be okay and just laugh when see me at the hospital. But I was totally wrong.

04.38 pm, I sent bbm to Yogi that I just arrived at the hospital. He met me, and told me that you already gone. The man who I heard his laugh yesterday, already gone. Gone too soon. Forever gone.

Laugh yesterday by you, cry today by us; the ones who love you as a bestfriend, a boyfriend, a office colleague, a son, and a brother.

Rest In Peace, Putu Chandra Anggiantara
You will stay at our heart. Good memories with you will make us grateful that we have been know such a good man like you.
But we know, God loves you more than us.
He will heal your pain, raise your level higher, and keep you closer to Him.

Kami ikhlas. Pergilah dengan damai.

On behalf of the ones you love you,

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