Coffee Talks: 2017 Has Taught Me.....

Happy New Year! πŸ’œ
It is 1.10am on the 1st day of Jan 2018, and I am wide awake.

I am typically a fan of "lesson" post at the end of the year, so I decided to make this one. I re-read my 2017 year's resolutions and busted a laugh mid-way through the read. Just thinking about some of the items in annual resolutions makes me smile.

2017 was good. That year was filled with such an excitement and euphoria, but as the year progressed the unexpected started happening -  a couple of misfortunes and life challenges were thrown my way. But in the midst of all challenges that I have faced this year, I earned a thick skin & gained new experiences have honestly made me a better person.

Below are some of the lessons 2017 has taught me so far.

I went through the toughest heartbreaks I have had to go through this year. After 4-year relationship and had sad ending, I was depressed; cried every night, been closed person and kept blaming myself. I also had a thought to suicide. 
I'm that hurted.
I let it change me as a person for the worst.

Long story short, I decided to be free, from that depression and sadness, by went to therapist and closer to God. I am still on progress tho.
Yes, I realized that I forgot to be thankful for all the thing He gave, and I do not believe that all the things He plans for me are always the best.

Blessed is the man who trust in the LORD, whose hope is the LORDJeremiah 17:7

Now I leave my grief and put my hope in Him.
And it works!

My grief was replaced by so much happiness; from the loads of office work, blogging activities, the opportunity to mingle with beauty & fashion brands, and starting my own start-up business. I'm blessed! 😊

You won't stay heartbroken forever. The day will come when you feel a sense of relief in knowing you are no longer attached to the person that once broke you. All the overthinking and pain you once felt will be a good thing of the past. You will remember the good times you once shared, but you will also remember the agony you went through, and that will push you to be stronger and wiser - M. Sosa

Having a friend in the time of need is the best gift  you should cherish, should you be lucky enough to have it. I am thankful that I have true friends who have been there for me in my time of need. With them, I received a shoulder to cry on, I was counselled in the right direction and I had the assurance that someone had my back.

Friends can be the best and worst things that will ever happen to you. A true test of friendship comes when life heads south. Fortunately, you dont need a lot of friends or people in your life - only a few amazing people who are willing to go as far for you as you would for them. Find and pick those people carefully.

You dont always have to be selfish, but it also does not hurt to think about yourself every now and then. Help others, be there for them, but dont always put others first, make yourself uncomfortable, and hurt yourself in the process.

We are constantly stressed out, with so many things happening in out lives. This tends to affect us mentally and emotionally, but do not let it get to the point where you bottle everything up and eventually burst. Your mental health is as important as your physical health, so know when to take a break and put a side time for yourself.

It is what it is. It was what it was. It will be what it will be. Don't stress it - Dulce Ruby.

And if you know someone around you might have one or two, you know they need a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and a hand to help.
If you do not want to help, (please) at least don't let your mouth say bad things such as 
"you are okay!"
"someone has is even worse"
"go to the (religion place)"
"you'll feel better!"
"there's no such a thing as mental health"
But if you want to help, tell them everything will be okay, go find professional help, and tell their family to understand his/her position.

You have tumors, three earth-shattering words that no one ever wants to hear - words that have the power to turn your entire world upside down.

Yes it is. The doctor said that I have tumor on Nov 30, 2017.
And it feels like,
"doc, are you kidding me?"
"this cant be happening"
"GOD, why me??"

Of course I am angry with myself for being ill, or because I feel that I somehow did something to cause my tumor (even though logically I know that something like this is beyond anyone's control). And I know, this anger may manifest itself in my treatment of others, causing to act out, be impatient, or say hurtful things.
My anger may be concealing a more potent emotion: it is fear.
As I come to terms with the diagnosis, I found myself having a face a lot of fears and worries: fear of treatment, financial worries, fear of pain, fear of not deserve to anyone, fear of bothering family etc.
After that announcement, I cried (almost) every night in my prayer, I am seeking an answer of the question "why me?", 
until I wake up in a morning and felt like I heard His words, "Trust me"
until a friend asked me to watch a movie, called The Shack, and it knocked my heart when God (in that movie) said "The real underlying flaw in your life is that you don't think I'm good. I AM, and if you knew me and how much I love you, even when you don't understand, you would know that I am at work in your life for your good, and you would trust me."

Then I started open to my family and some of close friends. I told them about my tumor.
And you know what, when I talk about what I am afraid of with the people I love and trust, these problems seem to shrink.

Don't be afraid of sharing your fears, guys. By acknowledging them openly, you will not only rob them of their power to really affect you, but you may also find that it is beneficial to getting the support you need.

One thing I want to highlight in here:
If you are in the same case with me, or having other disease that you still wondering ''why me?', or even in your darkest time, self-accepting is very important. In self-accepting, you will find a hope.
The one essential element to fighting is hope. Hope keeps us going, keeps us rising out of bed everyday ready to take on whatever comes our way. We fight with determination in the hope that things will get better, and they often do. Most of all, hope gives you the will to live.

God is saying to you today, "you held on during the toughest of times. I gave you strength to endure that at times you did not even know it was Me. When things changed for you, many left you and wrote you off. But not only did you endure the storm, but you grew in the storm. You are different. I did not create you to fit in. I created you to stand out. Now I am about to bless your faithfulness. I am about to take you to levels you never even thought were possible. Receive it in My Name."

2017 has taught me a lot of things; relationship end, friendship break, having tumor, people hurt us, etc......
But life goes on. Life is all about growing and learning who you are as a person. Find yourself. Find a great group of friends. Don't get upset with your imperfections. Nothing is worth compromising your selft worth and who you are.


By the way, my pretty & independent friend, Maya, also posted the article about whats lesson & insight that 2017 has taught her too.

You will absolutely love the beauty, travelling and DIY contents in her blog and instagram feed. So  please please please check hers out!
Now my question to you...
What have been some of the biggest lessons & insights that 2017 has taught you?
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below yaa 😊

Instagram : @cindyartha
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  1. happy new year, love :) ahhhh aku seneng banget kita decided to write this. aku ampe merinding kok kita sama banget lesson 2017. we can do this yah Cin~ jangan menyerah di 2018 and be happy yah always <3 God bless you <3 <3 <3

    1. Happy New Year Maaay! :)
      Finally yaa, kita collab jugaaa, seneng deeehh. Next nya harus bikin collab lagi yaa.

      Yes, we can do this, being someone better in 2018. We wont give up, we wont.
      May happiness always be with you too, love. Gbu <3

  2. Cindy.. semangat terus ya Cindy.. Aku baca ini kaya ngeliat sisi lain dari kamu..

    Tetep semangat Cindy.. Semoga segera sehat.. Aamiin

    1. Everybody has their own other side Kak, and this is me :)
      I'll always keep my spirit up buperii, terimakasih doanyaa :D

  3. I almost cry when I read this article, Cin :(
    You're amazing and strong. I really hope that 2018 is going to be a breakthrough year for your life and most of all, you're going to be free from tumor :)
    Much love and God bless you always <3


    1. Hai Chelshea,
      Thank tou for your prayer yaaa. Means a lot for me :)
      May happiness always be with you. Gbu too, love! <3

  4. Poin "someone who claims to be a good friend won't always be your friend" dan "Your mental health is important" ini setuju banget, Kak :)

    Semangat terus, Kak. Semoga segera sehat, kak :)


  6. Woaaah...just knew that you just broke up with your boyfriend.
    I see something when I saw through your eyes, a sorrow, deepest gloomy feeling at every smile of you but I don't know what. a bitter smile. ternyata oh ternyata itu rupanya.

    what doesn't kill you make you stronger, saya sih percaya itu.
    open your heart and time will heals every wound in your heart.

    cheers cindaay

    1. Aduh ada sesepuh blogger, I'm flattered :)
      ah masa sih gloomy pas saya ketawa-ketawa hahahaha. bilangin boss nih :))

      Agree af! what doesn't kill us make us stronger. Semacam akan lebih kuat menghadapi 2018 karena "bekal" di 2017 hihih.

  7. Wiii keren... Keep learning cin, jangan berhenti untuk terus belajar πŸ’ͺ

    1. Eh ada sahabatnya mantan hahahahaha.
      Terimakasih Yogaaa, semoga semua ada hikmahnya yaa, buatku, buat sahabatmu, buatmu, dan buat kita semua hahahaha.

      Sampaikan salamku untuk kaka reni.

  8. Cindy, aku lihat kamu di grup BS selalu terlihat paling smart dan kuat :) tetap semangat! god bless you :D
    semoga di tahun 2018 banyak hal baik yang terjadi di hidup Cindy

    1. Then I am not, Fuji. But I always trying to be a good one hehe.
      Amin amin, terimakasih doanya ya Fuji. Semoga banyak hal yang lebih baik juga di hidup kita di 2018 ini aminn :)

  9. Put yourself first. Semua berawal dari diri sendiri ya. Semangat terus Cindy😊

    The Wonderland by Kartikaryani

    1. Ga terlalu banyak nulis tentang Put Yourself First, takut dianggap selfish.
      Tapi terkadang being selfish juga perlu untuk diri sendiri kan hihihi.

    2. Iya sih emang takutnya akhirnya keliatan lebih mentingin diri sendiri, kita juga kan makhluk sosial ya. Semangat terus Cin ^^

  10. Mau ikutan nulis gini tapi belum berani :") mangat bebb

    1. Yuk Jude, menyenangkan loooh.
      Seenggaknya bisa tetep sharing ke orang-orang, dibalik apa yang kita jalani selalu ada hikmahnya, dan kita harus belajar untuk terus menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik dari hari kemarin.


  11. Yes, your mental health is more important. Btw, cantik2 nih fotonya, hehehe

  12. Well, goodluck for your start up by the way. Maybe someday you could share about it on your blog? :)

    Dee -

  13. cantik banget sih ka, semangat trus ya kak